May 07, 2024

Teach Not Fear, But Self-Esteem


Teach Not Fear, But Self-Esteem
A kid holding a Transgender pride flag. Esquerda.net, Wikimedia Commons

Julia, a trans woman, lives in St. Petersburg with her wife and two daughters. But recently the Russian government’s crackdown on LGBT people has hit home, as Julia had to pull her kids from school after receiving threats from the principal for being transgender. 

Julia, whose real name has been withheld, describes herself as a “forced non-binary person.” She has done over 20 years of hormone therapy. Her breasts have grown, but she says she does not look “100% feminine” or masculine. Julia uses both masculine and feminine pronouns. In 2020, she received permission to undergo gender-affirming surgery, but it could not be completed due to unrelated health complications. It takes her at least two hours for her to get ready in the morning and achieve a feminine appearance. And with small kids, this is even more difficult.

Julia had to rebuild many relationships after coming out as transgender. Her boss at an IT firm admitted to her that, before she worked there, he was a homophobe and transphobe. But meeting Julia changed him. Colleagues whose children came out as trans go to Julia for advice.

At first, it was hard for her wife to accept that her partner was trans. Four years after coming out, the couple went out together to the theater, fully embracing Julia as a trans woman. However, recent legislation declaring LGBT persons as extremists has put the pair on edge, as the possibility of them being attacked or losing their jobs has increased.

In March, Julia took her youngest daughter to school, where her wife also worked, as she would do from time to time. A teacher saw the young girl with a person with a beard, make-up, and painted nails and began interrogating the student. The kid explained to her teacher that that was her dad. The teacher said, "Dad shouldn't look like mom!" The girl responded, "Dad can look like mom but still remain dad."

Shortly afterward, the principal summoned the couple and gave them two options: divorcing or Julia's wife quitting her job and pulling their daughter out of the school. Julia reminded the principal that both parents and kids can be LGBT and offered to advise her on the subject. She told Holod, "I'm glad I had the opportunity to talk to the director and look her in the eye. She saw that a trans person could be equal and not everyone could be humiliated." However, it became clear to Julia that Russia's education system was permeated with fear and had lost its ability to care for children.

The couple pulled their youngest daughter from the school and looked for another one that taught "not fear, but self-esteem." In the institution where their eldest daughter studies, she was allowed to join a woodworking course where only men were usually allowed. 

Julia has not only faced transphobia in the education system, but was also persecuted by authorities for her gender. An investigator contacted her after someone filed a complaint against her for violating "LGBT propaganda" laws, as she administered a chat room for trans people. Julia suspects that a group of people who had avatars bearing swastikas and who made threats against her had reported her to authorities. 

After this incident, her company offered her the option of relocation. Lawyers insisted that she should "drop everything and run" from Russia. But Julia plans to stay in Russia as long as she can "just so that people to whom I am an example have hope that they can survive even in such an environment."

You Might Also Like

  • February 06, 2024

"I'm Alive" a Harrowing Escape

A gay Chechen man forced to out himself on camera vanished after the video went viral in 2022. Now, he tells his story.
My Fair Snow Maiden
  • January 04, 2024

My Fair Snow Maiden

A school's New Years party causes a stir when a male teacher dresses up as Snow Maiden.
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals
[INVALID]
[INVALID]

Some of our Books

The Latchkey Murders
July 01, 2015

The Latchkey Murders

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin is back on the case in this prequel to the popular mystery Murder at the Dacha, in which a serial killer is on the loose in Khrushchev’s Moscow...

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas
October 01, 2013

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.

 
A Taste of Russia
November 01, 2012

A Taste of Russia

The definitive modern cookbook on Russian cuisine has been totally updated and redesigned in a 30th Anniversary Edition. Layering superbly researched recipes with informative essays on the dishes' rich historical and cultural context, A Taste of Russia includes over 200 recipes on everything from borshch to blini, from Salmon Coulibiac to Beef Stew with Rum, from Marinated Mushrooms to Walnut-honey Filled Pies. A Taste of Russia shows off the best that Russian cooking has to offer. Full of great quotes from Russian literature about Russian food and designed in a convenient wide format that stays open during use.

How Russia Got That Way
September 20, 2025

How Russia Got That Way

A fast-paced crash course in Russian history, from Norsemen to Navalny, that explores the ways the Kremlin uses history to achieve its ends.

The Samovar Murders
November 01, 2019

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.

Marooned in Moscow
May 01, 2011

Marooned in Moscow

This gripping autobiography plays out against the backdrop of Russia's bloody Civil War, and was one of the first Western eyewitness accounts of life in post-revolutionary Russia. Marooned in Moscow provides a fascinating account of one woman's entry into war-torn Russia in early 1920, first-person impressions of many in the top Soviet leadership, and accounts of the author's increasingly dangerous work as a journalist and spy, to say nothing of her work on behalf of prisoners, her two arrests, and her eventual ten-month-long imprisonment, including in the infamous Lubyanka prison. It is a veritable encyclopedia of life in Russia in the early 1920s.

Russian Rules
November 16, 2011

Russian Rules

From the shores of the White Sea to Moscow and the Northern Caucasus, Russian Rules is a high-speed thriller based on actual events, terrifying possibilities, and some really stupid decisions.

Woe From Wit (bilingual)
June 20, 2017

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.

White Magic
June 01, 2021

White Magic

The thirteen tales in this volume – all written by Russian émigrés, writers who fled their native country in the early twentieth century – contain a fair dose of magic and mysticism, of terror and the supernatural. There are Petersburg revenants, grief-stricken avengers, Lithuanian vampires, flying skeletons, murders and duels, and even a ghostly Edgar Allen Poe.

93 Untranslatable Russian Words
December 01, 2008

93 Untranslatable Russian Words

Every language has concepts, ideas, words and idioms that are nearly impossible to translate into another language. This book looks at nearly 100 such Russian words and offers paths to their understanding and translation by way of examples from literature and everyday life. Difficult to translate words and concepts are introduced with dictionary definitions, then elucidated with citations from literature, speech and prose, helping the student of Russian comprehend the word/concept in context.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955