Tractors, smugglers, and the matryoshka from hell

Olympian Update 
A special section during the Rio Olympics

The Games are over, and as predicted, Russia kept fourth place in the medal count, rounding out with a total of 56 medals: 19 gold, 18 silver, and 19 bronze. Though the Russian team shrunk by about one-third after the doping accusations, the Games were attended by 280 Russian athletes – 107 of whom became medalists – and one matryoshka from hell. Yes, you read that right.

Transport Troubles

1. The only thing worse than getting stuck in a giant matryoshka: getting stuck in an airport because of a giant matryoshka. Russia’s Olympic team was delayed in Rio for hours due to “congestion”: specifically, the team’s gigantic nesting doll – re-named “the matryoshka from hell” – getting caught in the door of the plane. Couldn’t they just un-nest the dolls to get all the pieces on board?

2. Illegal smugglers will do anything to make a buck. Including – invest in improving local infrastructure? In this case, gangs of smugglers repaired a gravel road along the Belarussian border to ease their transport of sanctioned goods across the border. The “expertly repaired” road now has officials on the lookout for the repair workers – but whether it’s to punish them or give them a new job remains uncertain.

3. A convoy of tractors was on a roll toward Moscow until a police blockade stopped them in their tracks. Farmers from Kuban’ had started the roll to get national officials to address local corruption and attacks on their land. The tractor march, a rare example of public dissent outside of major cities, was stalled many times before being suspended altogether. Maybe next time they’ll hire the smugglers’ roadbuilders to pave them a new path.

In Odder News

• Dance of the Vampires hits Moscow. Specifically, the wildly popular musical, which will adapt to the challenges of the Russian stage.
• With a bear on the loose in the Siberian settlement of Khanty-Mansiysk, residents are warned not to shoot it – with their cameras or phones, that is.
• A Russian couple climbed the highest construction site in the world. Luckily, no one sneezed.

Quote of the Week

A matryoshka doll from the Russian House got stuck in the airport doors :))) nobody understands what to do with it)))."
—Dmitry Simonov, who is deputy editor of the Sport-Express newspaper, tweeting on the Russian Olympic team’s ill-fated nesting doll.

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