August 01, 2019

The Road to Nowhere


The Road to Nowhere
Oh the melon-choly the driver must feel! gbdd121 | Instagram

Quote of the Week

“We always stop cars with cut watermelons on the roof. As it turns out, not in vain.”

– Road police in Chuvashiya after catching a drunk driver

 

Green, Eggs, and Fans

DiCaprio as a Russian imperial general
DiCaprio? That won’t do. How about Dekaprov? / Ves_ulan_ude_ | Instagram

1. Russians are begging an environmental big fish, Leonardo DiCaprio, to save a lake. The actor has an entire foundation dedicated to fighting climate change, so Russians thought he might be able to divert attention for a moment to another environmental issue: Lake Baikal, which is under threat. In case that’s not enough justification, he has a Russian babushka. And blood is thicker than water, so… DiCaprio should pay attention to the world’s largest, deepest, and oldest body of fresh water. 

He hasn’t yet, but he did post on Instagram (with dozens of comments from thankful Russians) about the unprecedentedly large fires happening now across five regions of Siberia, destroying Russian forests, emitting greenhouse gases, and threatening the Arctic.

2. A former St. Petersburg official was convicted of letting himself be buttered up. Meaning, he accepted bribes from illegal street vendors in the form of not just cash, but also eggs and butter, and allegedly honey as well. For some reason, the official won’t admit to the honey, even though the $11 jar probably won’t make any difference in this sticky situation. He was fined over $10,000. This is clearly not the way to get to the Land of Milk Products and Honey

3. Ukrainians say there is a threatening green light shining on them from the Russian side of the Azov Sea, and President Zelensky’s military (cough, zeleny means green in both Ukrainian and Russian, albeit slightly different pronunciation and spelling) isn’t happy about it. Russians say that’s impossible, or perhaps an optical illusion. We Americans say it sounds a lot like an Eastern European (egro, opposite) version of The Great Gatsby

 

In Odder News

  • A man in St. Petersburg was sent to a mental hospital for trying to sell passports of the Kingdom of ASPI. Which doesn’t exist. 
  • Russia will have official roads made of ice and snow. Don’t salt these ones please. 
  • The mayor of a town in the Far East gave citizens buckets of paint as part of the campaign “colorful houses.” 
Colorful houses in the Far East
Lending color to a neighborhood, literally. / The Government of Amurskaya Oblast

 

Thanks to David Edwards for a story tip!

Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.
 

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

The fables of Ivan Krylov are rich fonts of Russian cultural wisdom and experience – reading and understanding them is vital to grasping the Russian worldview. This new edition of 62 of Krylov’s tales presents them side-by-side in English and Russian. The wonderfully lyrical translations by Lydia Razran Stone are accompanied by original, whimsical color illustrations by Katya Korobkina.
Woe From Wit (bilingual)

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.
Life Stories: Original Fiction By Russian Authors

Life Stories: Original Fiction By Russian Authors

The Life Stories collection is a nice introduction to contemporary Russian fiction: many of the 19 authors featured here have won major Russian literary prizes and/or become bestsellers. These are life-affirming stories of love, family, hope, rebirth, mystery and imagination, masterfully translated by some of the best Russian-English translators working today. The selections reassert the power of Russian literature to affect readers of all cultures in profound and lasting ways. Best of all, 100% of the profits from the sale of this book are going to benefit Russian hospice—not-for-profit care for fellow human beings who are nearing the end of their own life stories.
White Magic

White Magic

The thirteen tales in this volume – all written by Russian émigrés, writers who fled their native country in the early twentieth century – contain a fair dose of magic and mysticism, of terror and the supernatural. There are Petersburg revenants, grief-stricken avengers, Lithuanian vampires, flying skeletons, murders and duels, and even a ghostly Edgar Allen Poe.
Murder and the Muse

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.
Murder at the Dacha

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.
Survival Russian

Survival Russian

Survival Russian is an intensely practical guide to conversational, colloquial and culture-rich Russian. It uses humor, current events and thematically-driven essays to deepen readers’ understanding of Russian language and culture. This enlarged Second Edition of Survival Russian includes over 90 essays and illuminates over 2000 invaluable Russian phrases and words.
The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

The Little Humpbacked Horse (bilingual)

A beloved Russian classic about a resourceful Russian peasant, Vanya, and his miracle-working horse, who together undergo various trials, exploits and adventures at the whim of a laughable tsar, told in rich, narrative poetry.
Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 
The Samovar Murders

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955