August 01, 2019

The Road to Nowhere


The Road to Nowhere
Oh the melon-choly the driver must feel! gbdd121 | Instagram

Quote of the Week

“We always stop cars with cut watermelons on the roof. As it turns out, not in vain.”

– Road police in Chuvashiya after catching a drunk driver

 

Green, Eggs, and Fans

DiCaprio as a Russian imperial general
DiCaprio? That won’t do. How about Dekaprov? / Ves_ulan_ude_ | Instagram

1. Russians are begging an environmental big fish, Leonardo DiCaprio, to save a lake. The actor has an entire foundation dedicated to fighting climate change, so Russians thought he might be able to divert attention for a moment to another environmental issue: Lake Baikal, which is under threat. In case that’s not enough justification, he has a Russian babushka. And blood is thicker than water, so… DiCaprio should pay attention to the world’s largest, deepest, and oldest body of fresh water. 

He hasn’t yet, but he did post on Instagram (with dozens of comments from thankful Russians) about the unprecedentedly large fires happening now across five regions of Siberia, destroying Russian forests, emitting greenhouse gases, and threatening the Arctic.

2. A former St. Petersburg official was convicted of letting himself be buttered up. Meaning, he accepted bribes from illegal street vendors in the form of not just cash, but also eggs and butter, and allegedly honey as well. For some reason, the official won’t admit to the honey, even though the $11 jar probably won’t make any difference in this sticky situation. He was fined over $10,000. This is clearly not the way to get to the Land of Milk Products and Honey

3. Ukrainians say there is a threatening green light shining on them from the Russian side of the Azov Sea, and President Zelensky’s military (cough, zeleny means green in both Ukrainian and Russian, albeit slightly different pronunciation and spelling) isn’t happy about it. Russians say that’s impossible, or perhaps an optical illusion. We Americans say it sounds a lot like an Eastern European (egro, opposite) version of The Great Gatsby

 

In Odder News

  • A man in St. Petersburg was sent to a mental hospital for trying to sell passports of the Kingdom of ASPI. Which doesn’t exist. 
  • Russia will have official roads made of ice and snow. Don’t salt these ones please. 
  • The mayor of a town in the Far East gave citizens buckets of paint as part of the campaign “colorful houses.” 
Colorful houses in the Far East
Lending color to a neighborhood, literally. / The Government of Amurskaya Oblast

 

Thanks to David Edwards for a story tip!

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Some of our Books

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This is the work that made Chekhov, launching his career as a writer and playwright of national and international renown. Retranslated and updated, this new bilingual edition is a super way to improve your Russian.

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Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 

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The story of the epic Spine of Russia trip, intertwining fascinating subject profiles with digressions into historical and cultural themes relevant to understanding modern Russia. 

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The Life Stories collection is a nice introduction to contemporary Russian fiction: many of the 19 authors featured here have won major Russian literary prizes and/or become bestsellers. These are life-affirming stories of love, family, hope, rebirth, mystery and imagination, masterfully translated by some of the best Russian-English translators working today. The selections reassert the power of Russian literature to affect readers of all cultures in profound and lasting ways. Best of all, 100% of the profits from the sale of this book are going to benefit Russian hospice—not-for-profit care for fellow human beings who are nearing the end of their own life stories.

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This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.

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