Have Your Cake

On February 18, the Moscow Department of the Investigative Committee of Russia (CK) released a stern reminder for Russian youth who might be considering a stint in theft, robbery, extortion or other shenanigans after their fourteenth birthdays.

The CK, which has been the Russian Federation’s main acting federal investigation authority since 2011, has jurisdiction over a wide variety of criminal activities. While the country’s youth is one concern, other matters include terrorism, hostage-taking, and rape.

In the video, CK employees, some holding cakes with lit candles, wish Russia’s rising fourteen-year-olds happy birthday. The congratulations come with a healthy reminder: after this age, they “themselves will be responsible for their murders and causing any other bodily harm.”

The CK website has since removed the birthday wishes, although you can still watch the video on YouTube.

Russia’s Committee Against Torture later released a parody of the video. Instead of congratulating youth on their next steps toward adulthood, however, its members salute the police officers who have just begun their service.

The satire opens with a young woman sporting dark purple lipstick and a jet-black bob, a bottle of vodka in her right hand. She addresses the police: “Dear police officers, you’ve begun your service? Congratulations!”

She and other Committee members go on to warn the police that they will be responsible for committing certain crimes, including bribe-taking, forgery, negligence and the abuse of their office – with or without the use of violence.

Perhaps everyone can use a healthy reminder of civic duty every now and again!