November 14, 2019

Baggage Bros, Covert Crimea, and Brezhnev's Crimes


Baggage Bros, Covert Crimea, and Brezhnev's Crimes
Revenge is a dish best served by a cat. Mikhail Galin

Quote of the Week

“Certain comrades of mine forbid me to quote Elon Musk, so I’m going to quote Stalin.”

— Yuri Urlichich, First Deputy Director of Roscosmos, giving a speech at a conference

Cat’s in the Cradle, Crimean Boogaloo

1. “Bros should be around bros, not in the luggage.” This was the quote that inspired frequent flier Mikhail Galin to resort to extreme measures to save his cat, Viktor. Mikhail wanted to bring Viktor onboard an Aeroflot flight, but air staff said Viktor was too heavy to ride in the cabin and would have to ride in the luggage compartment. So Mikhail performed a daring swap. He went home and used his miles to redeem a business class ticket for the next day. Meanwhile, he sought via Facebook and found a cat-double for Victor and had him weighed at the airport screening… then swapped back in Viktor for the flight. Unfortunately, Mikhail paid a heavy price for his heist: he was found out and his frequent flying account was cancelled. Clearly, no sacrifice is too great for a man to make for his cat.

"I/we stand for Fat Cat"
All of the RuNet is rooting for Mikhail and Viktor. / @leonidragozin via Twitter

2. One driver in the city of Astrakhan noticed an odd road sign. On a bridge leading to Crimea Street, someone had put up a prominent red sign reading “Crimea Bridge.” Evidently feeling like spending his weekend by the Black Sea, the driver drove up to the bridge and crossed it, joking, “Look, we’re going to Crimea.” No one is really sure who put the sign up. Perhaps it was a patriot for whom distance made the heart grow fonder for Crimea’s recent “reunification” (Astrakhan is 600 miles from Crimea). Or maybe it was a prankster underlining that there was no need to annex other people’s territory: the real Crimea was within us all along.

Crimea Bridge in Astrakhan
Crimea's just around the corner. / Astrakhan Online

3. You may never be able to collect all of Leonid Brezhnev’s medals. But today, for a paltry 1.5 million rubles ($25,000), you can buy the only driving ticket he ever received. Of course, it’s not a real ticket — the Minister of the Interior gave it to Brezhnev as a joke. But Brezhnev did have a real driver’s license that permitted its holder to drive “all categories of vehicles.” Both the license and his fake ticket are being auctioned off today. (It’s unlikely to stagnate at the block.)


In Odder News

  • New Zealanders are accusing Russia of interfering in their election — that is, their election for bird of the year.
  • Thousands of miles from Hawaii in the Pacific Ocean, surfers in Kamchatka are making waves among Russians who love the tide.
Surfing in Kamchatka
Surf's up in Siberia. / BBC
  • What are your favorite Russian cities to visit? One poll asked travellers to reveal their rankings. Check it out and see how they stack up against yours.

Thanks to David Edwards for a story idea!

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Some of Our Books

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Every language has concepts, ideas, words and idioms that are nearly impossible to translate into another language. This book looks at nearly 100 such Russian words and offers paths to their understanding and translation by way of examples from literature and everyday life. Difficult to translate words and concepts are introduced with dictionary definitions, then elucidated with citations from literature, speech and prose, helping the student of Russian comprehend the word/concept in context.
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The Frogs Who Begged for a Tsar (bilingual)

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Moscow and Muscovites

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The Moscow Eccentric
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Faith & Humor
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A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

Russian Rules
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Bears in the Caviar
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Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar is a hilarious and insightful memoir by a diplomat who was “present at the creation” of US-Soviet relations. Charles Thayer headed off to Russia in 1933, calculating that if he could just learn Russian and be on the spot when the US and USSR established relations, he could make himself indispensable and start a career in the foreign service. Remarkably, he pulled it of.

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices
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Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod is a mid-sized provincial city that exists only in Russian metaphorical space. It has its roots in Gogol, and Ilf and Petrov, and is a place far from Moscow, but close to Russian hearts. It is a place of mystery and normality, of provincial innocence and Black Earth wisdom. Strange, inexplicable things happen in Stargorod. So do good things. And bad things. A lot like life everywhere, one might say. Only with a heavy dose of vodka, longing and mystery.

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