Hot and Cold: Spies, Armageddon, and Skiing Half-Naked

Bovines, Bikinis, and Bomb Shelters

1. There’s a new secret weapon in the world of espionage: cows. At least, the Russian government thought there was. One Russian farmer was accused of espionage for ordering GPS tracking devices. This turned out to be a cock and bull story, so to speak, as he actually needed the GPS devices for keeping track of cows that strayed from the herd. The Russian government has apologized for the mistake, and the farmer has accepted the apology. Good thing the Russian government is sticking to some measure of a-cow-ntability.

2. The end is nigh, and it’s time to stock up on water. That’s the message from some Russian journalists, who are urging viewers to prepare for a nuclear apocalypse in reaction to new tensions between the United States and Russia. What’s on the grocery list? Fewer sweets and more water, advises one journalist. Say what you will about nuclear war, but it sounds like it will help enforce a healthy diet.

Photo: Россия 24

3. The world has seen a new record broken and is experiencing a new dawn of human accomplishment. What record? This week, Russians set the new record for the most people skiing downhill while wearing a bathing suit: 1,525. The record-breaking event was part of an annual Siberian snow festival, Grelka Fest. Grelka Fest also hosted a concert, skijumping into a pool, and a festival of colors celebration. The Russian aptitude for fun in the very cold sun seems to know no bounds.

Photo: KrekLife

In Odder News:

• Russia’s turning up the heat: Moscow experienced its hottest April 16th in 70 years when temperatures reached 20°C (68° F)

• Everyone deserves a fresh start for spring! Check out these great photos of monuments getting a good spring cleaning.

• A pretty kopek: the most expensive single room in Moscow is a whopping $225,000

Quote of the Week:

“Sweet tooths will have a hard time: Chocolate, candy, and condensed milk will have to be left in your past life.”

—A dire warning from a Vesti-24 news anchor

Want more where this comes from? Give your inbox the gift of TWERF, our Thursday newsletter on the quirkiest, obscurest, and Russianest of Russian happenings of the week.