October 17, 2013

RuNet: The Silly and the Serious


RuNet: The Silly and the Serious

Fall is here! And what has Russian Internet been up to?

Much as was the case last month, Russian bloggers are travelling, sightseeing, writing, sharing. One Sergei Nikitskiy, for example, just put up photos of his cruise in the Volga watershed (an approximate map of his route can be found here). He may not be a professional photographer, but his photos manage to capture the eclectic, at times faded and dilapidated, but always unique Russian landscape, both urban and natural. And the most telling sign that this is Russia? The boat he was on was the Karl Marx.

Meanwhile, some denizens of RuNet have been asking some strange questions – and receiving even stranger answers:

ukrop21
By the way, do you know when we’ll start bombing the US already? We’ve produced enough plutonium & uranium, about time we got started.

Beria lavrentiy
As the nuclear project manager, I can answer you with complete authority: we’ll start bombing as soon as we freshen the nip. All hail the CPSU!

Satire alert! This is but one example in a long exchange of “forum posts” in which Russians present themselves exactly as Westerners supposedly see them – radical communists, vodka drinkers, balalaika players, bear tamers, and owners of personal nuclear arsenals:

 

FreemanOnly
Comrades! Here in Siberia we had a warm spell yesterday (-40 F), so I decided to plow up the garden in my courtyard. Meanwhile, my wife Dunya was playing on the balalaika and dancing “barynya” (I find it’s easier to work that way). Long story short, I got carried away and lost my vodka ration cards, and they won’t give us new ones for another month! Can anyone who’s had this problem give me a hint – how did you deal with it?

 

Lev Sergeevich
Yesterday the traffic police stopped me on my bear. They seemed to think I was sober. So I had to prove to them I was drunk by drinking 11 bottles of vodka with them, so that they wouldn’t revoke my license for sobriety.

 

Vadim Gerasimov
Comrades, have some restraint! Here at the KGB we don’t have the time to go out and delegate firing squads for everyone. Could anyone who has harmed a bear in any way please come visit us in the Lubyanka to be shot? By the way, does anyone know if it’s true that starting Monday they’re going to start shutting off the hot vodka in apartments?

 

Ura Buera
I just got back from work […] But here’s the thing. I got my paycheck in rubles instead of vodka rations. I glued them onto my reactor and admired my own work. The reactor looks so nice with the Leader’s face on it, but I really do want some vodka. Comrades, can anyone tell me what to do with rubles? Can I exchange them for vodka rations?

 

ironminer
Comrades! Today I was strolling by the Iron Curtain, and heard non-Russian speech on the other side. How can this be? Are we not alone in this world?

The whole list (in Russian) can be found here.

With all that silliness, let’s not forget the serious side of things! Politically, the internet community has been preoccupied with a recent pronouncement by Valentina Matvienko, suggesting a return of the “against all” (protiv vsekh) option in elections, last seen on ballots in 2006. Reactions range from touching stories of how the option saved elections in the past to how it’s just a power play by the ruling party, to reasoned analysis of how it may affect voting patterns. (Plus, with typical Internet creativity, even the level-headed analysis includes the wonderful neologism vredinorossy, a portmanteau of vred ‘harm’ and edinorossy ‘members of United Russia.’) So silly or serious, there’s always something to be found on RuNet!


Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons. Translations by Eugenia Sokolskaya.

Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of Our Books

Fish: A History of One Migration

Fish: A History of One Migration

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.
Dostoyevsky Bilingual

Dostoyevsky Bilingual

Bilingual series of short, lesser known, but highly significant works that show the traditional view of Dostoyevsky as a dour, intense, philosophical writer to be unnecessarily one-sided. 
The Little Golden Calf

The Little Golden Calf

Our edition of The Little Golden Calf, one of the greatest Russian satires ever, is the first new translation of this classic novel in nearly fifty years. It is also the first unabridged, uncensored English translation ever, and is 100% true to the original 1931 serial publication in the Russian journal 30 Dnei. Anne O. Fisher’s translation is copiously annotated, and includes an introduction by Alexandra Ilf, the daughter of one of the book’s two co-authors.
Marooned in Moscow

Marooned in Moscow

This gripping autobiography plays out against the backdrop of Russia's bloody Civil War, and was one of the first Western eyewitness accounts of life in post-revolutionary Russia. Marooned in Moscow provides a fascinating account of one woman's entry into war-torn Russia in early 1920, first-person impressions of many in the top Soviet leadership, and accounts of the author's increasingly dangerous work as a journalist and spy, to say nothing of her work on behalf of prisoners, her two arrests, and her eventual ten-month-long imprisonment, including in the infamous Lubyanka prison. It is a veritable encyclopedia of life in Russia in the early 1920s.
Survival Russian

Survival Russian

Survival Russian is an intensely practical guide to conversational, colloquial and culture-rich Russian. It uses humor, current events and thematically-driven essays to deepen readers’ understanding of Russian language and culture. This enlarged Second Edition of Survival Russian includes over 90 essays and illuminates over 2000 invaluable Russian phrases and words.
Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 
Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka

In this comprehensive, quixotic and addictive book, Edwin Trommelen explores all facets of the Russian obsession with vodka. Peering chiefly through the lenses of history and literature, Trommelen offers up an appropriately complex, rich and bittersweet portrait, based on great respect for Russian culture.
Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar is a hilarious and insightful memoir by a diplomat who was “present at the creation” of US-Soviet relations. Charles Thayer headed off to Russia in 1933, calculating that if he could just learn Russian and be on the spot when the US and USSR established relations, he could make himself indispensable and start a career in the foreign service. Remarkably, he pulled it of.
Okudzhava Bilingual

Okudzhava Bilingual

Poems, songs and autobiographical sketches by Bulat Okudzhava, the king of the Russian bards. 
Russian Rules

Russian Rules

From the shores of the White Sea to Moscow and the Northern Caucasus, Russian Rules is a high-speed thriller based on actual events, terrifying possibilities, and some really stupid decisions.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955