June 17, 2022

Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)


Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)
In the same way that this slogan promises not to "abandon our own," Putin's security keeps close tabs on his urine, saliva, and feces. Sputnik News, an affiliate of the Russian state.

Putin is just like us. He has a dog, plays sports, and uses the restroom.

Of course, the last of these creates a security concern. After all, access to a powerful man's DNA, through spit, urine, and other bodily fluids, could mean disaster at the highest levels of the Russian state. And according to the blog of independent Russian journalist Farida Rustamova, the effort to keep Putin's "biomaterials" secure has led to some ridiculous measures.

Faridaily's article on how Putin's DNA stays safe includes some practices that are fairly benign: for instance, it was noted in 2019 that Putin brought his own mug to a G20 summit, a vessel that was closely watched by security to ensure that it remained in the right hands.

When it comes to bodily waste, however, security guards have a distinctly messier job. According to Rustamova, Putin uses a portable toilet when on the road to ensure the security of his waste. While in Russia, guards are permitted to empty and refresh the commode. Abroad, the waste is preserved for security reasons and only destroyed on the return to Moscow.

Faridaily also pointed out that the preservation of Putin's poo these days could be tied to a chronic disease, as speculated by the French press, but that's pure conjecture.

We can only imagine that his Black Sea mansion has some sort of security gadget in its septic system, too.

 

 

You Might Also Like

Putin's Pooches
  • October 07, 2021

Putin's Pooches

On this, Vladimir Putin's 69th birthday, we are reminded that even authoritarian leaders are softies for good dogs. Maybe especially so?
Is Putin Ailing?
  • May 02, 2022

Is Putin Ailing?

As rumors arise about President Putin's health, we take stock.
Query
Template: /muraWRM/core/mura/content/feed/feedGateway.cfc:250
Execution Time: 0.709 ms
Record Count: 0
Cached: No
Lazy: No
SQL:
SELECT
tcontent.siteid, tcontent.title, tcontent.menutitle, tcontent.restricted, tcontent.restrictgroups,
tcontent.type, tcontent.subType, tcontent.filename, tcontent.displaystart, tcontent.displaystop,
tcontent.remotesource, tcontent.remoteURL,tcontent.remotesourceURL, tcontent.keypoints,
tcontent.contentID, tcontent.parentID, tcontent.approved, tcontent.isLocked, tcontent.contentHistID,tcontent.target, tcontent.targetParams,
tcontent.releaseDate, tcontent.lastupdate,tcontent.summary,
tfiles.fileSize,tfiles.fileExt,tcontent.fileid,
tcontent.tags,tcontent.credits,tcontent.audience, tcontent.orderNo,
tcontentstats.rating,tcontentstats.totalVotes,tcontentstats.downVotes,tcontentstats.upVotes,
tcontentstats.comments, tparent.type parentType,
tcontent.path, tcontent.created, tcontent.nextn, tcontent.majorVersion, tcontent.minorVersion, tcontentstats.lockID, tcontentstats.lockType, tcontent.expires,
tfiles.filename as AssocFilename,tcontent.displayInterval,tcontent.display,tcontentfilemetadata.altText as fileAltText,tcontent.changesetid
FROM
tcontent
left Join tfiles on (tcontent.fileid=tfiles.fileid)
left Join tcontentstats on (tcontent.contentid=tcontentstats.contentid
and tcontent.siteid=tcontentstats.siteid)
Left Join tcontent tparent on (tcontent.parentid=tparent.contentid
and tcontent.siteid=tparent.siteid
and tparent.active=1)
Left Join tcontentfilemetadata on (tcontent.fileid=tcontentfilemetadata.fileid
and tcontent.contenthistid=tcontentfilemetadata.contenthistid
and tcontent.siteid=tcontentfilemetadata.siteid)
WHERE
tcontent.siteid in ('default')
and tcontent.active = 1
and tcontent.Approved = 1
AND tcontent.isNav = 1
AND tcontent.moduleid = '00000000000000000000000000000000000'
AND tcontent.searchExclude = 0
AND tcontent.contentid <> '00000000000000000000000000000000001'
AND tcontent.type <>'Module'
and (
tcontent.parentid
=
'7557846B-4D0C-4588-9E8767252C692D1B'
and
tcontent.subtype
=
'footnote'
)
AND (
tcontent.Display = 1
OR
(
tcontent.Display = 2
AND
(
(
tparent.type!='Calendar'
and tcontent.DisplayStart <=
{ts '2026-04-03 09:30:00'}
and (tcontent.DisplayStop >=
{ts '2026-04-03 09:30:00'} or tcontent.DisplayStop is null)
) OR (
tparent.type='Calendar'
and tcontent.DisplayStart <=
{ts '2027-04-03 09:30:00'}
and (tcontent.DisplayStop >=
{ts '2026-04-03 09:30:00'} or tcontent.DisplayStop is null)
)
)
)
)
AND (
tcontent.mobileExclude is null
OR
tcontent.mobileExclude in (0,1)
)
order by
tcontent.lastUpdate desc
siteidtitlemenutitlerestrictedrestrictgroupstypesubTypefilenamedisplaystartdisplaystopremotesourceremoteURLremotesourceURLkeypointscontentIDparentIDapprovedisLockedcontentHistIDtargettargetParamsreleaseDatelastupdatesummaryfileSizefileExtfileidtagscreditsaudienceorderNoratingtotalVotesdownVotesupVotescommentsparentTypepathcreatednextnmajorVersionminorVersionlockIDlockTypeexpiresAssocFilenamedisplayIntervaldisplayfileAltTextchangesetid
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of our Books

A Taste of Russia
November 01, 2012

A Taste of Russia

The definitive modern cookbook on Russian cuisine has been totally updated and redesigned in a 30th Anniversary Edition. Layering superbly researched recipes with informative essays on the dishes' rich historical and cultural context, A Taste of Russia includes over 200 recipes on everything from borshch to blini, from Salmon Coulibiac to Beef Stew with Rum, from Marinated Mushrooms to Walnut-honey Filled Pies. A Taste of Russia shows off the best that Russian cooking has to offer. Full of great quotes from Russian literature about Russian food and designed in a convenient wide format that stays open during use.

Murder and the Muse
December 12, 2016

Murder and the Muse

KGB Chief Andropov has tapped Matyushkin to solve a brazen jewel heist from Picasso’s wife at the posh Metropole Hotel. But when the case bleeds over into murder, machinations, and international intrigue, not everyone is eager to see where the clues might lead.

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas
October 01, 2013

The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas

This exciting new trilogy by a Russian author – who has been compared to Orhan Pamuk and Umberto Eco – vividly recreates a lost world, yet its passions and characters are entirely relevant to the present day. Full of mystery, memorable characters, and non-stop adventure, The Pet Hawk of the House of Abbas is a must read for lovers of historical fiction and international thrillers.

 
Woe From Wit (bilingual)
June 20, 2017

Woe From Wit (bilingual)

One of the most famous works of Russian literature, the four-act comedy in verse Woe from Wit skewers staid, nineteenth century Russian society, and it positively teems with “winged phrases” that are essential colloquialisms for students of Russian and Russian culture.

Faith & Humor
December 01, 2011

Faith & Humor

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

At the Circus
January 01, 2013

At the Circus

This wonderful novella by Alexander Kuprin tells the story of the wrestler Arbuzov and his battle against a renowned American wrestler. Rich in detail and characterization, At the Circus brims with excitement and life. You can smell the sawdust in the big top, see the vivid and colorful characters, sense the tension build as Arbuzov readies to face off against the American.

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices
May 01, 2013

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod is a mid-sized provincial city that exists only in Russian metaphorical space. It has its roots in Gogol, and Ilf and Petrov, and is a place far from Moscow, but close to Russian hearts. It is a place of mystery and normality, of provincial innocence and Black Earth wisdom. Strange, inexplicable things happen in Stargorod. So do good things. And bad things. A lot like life everywhere, one might say. Only with a heavy dose of vodka, longing and mystery.

Steppe
July 15, 2022

Steppe

This is the work that made Chekhov, launching his career as a writer and playwright of national and international renown. Retranslated and updated, this new bilingual edition is a super way to improve your Russian.

How Russia Got That Way
September 20, 2025

How Russia Got That Way

A fast-paced crash course in Russian history, from Norsemen to Navalny, that explores the ways the Kremlin uses history to achieve its ends.

White Magic
June 01, 2021

White Magic

The thirteen tales in this volume – all written by Russian émigrés, writers who fled their native country in the early twentieth century – contain a fair dose of magic and mysticism, of terror and the supernatural. There are Petersburg revenants, grief-stricken avengers, Lithuanian vampires, flying skeletons, murders and duels, and even a ghostly Edgar Allen Poe.

Fish
February 01, 2010

Fish

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955