June 17, 2022

Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)


Down and Dirty Journalism (Or, Poo-tin)
In the same way that this slogan promises not to "abandon our own," Putin's security keeps close tabs on his urine, saliva, and feces. Sputnik News, an affiliate of the Russian state.

Putin is just like us. He has a dog, plays sports, and uses the restroom.

Of course, the last of these creates a security concern. After all, access to a powerful man's DNA, through spit, urine, and other bodily fluids, could mean disaster at the highest levels of the Russian state. And according to the blog of independent Russian journalist Farida Rustamova, the effort to keep Putin's "biomaterials" secure has led to some ridiculous measures.

Faridaily's article on how Putin's DNA stays safe includes some practices that are fairly benign: for instance, it was noted in 2019 that Putin brought his own mug to a G20 summit, a vessel that was closely watched by security to ensure that it remained in the right hands.

When it comes to bodily waste, however, security guards have a distinctly messier job. According to Rustamova, Putin uses a portable toilet when on the road to ensure the security of his waste. While in Russia, guards are permitted to empty and refresh the commode. Abroad, the waste is preserved for security reasons and only destroyed on the return to Moscow.

Faridaily also pointed out that the preservation of Putin's poo these days could be tied to a chronic disease, as speculated by the French press, but that's pure conjecture.

We can only imagine that his Black Sea mansion has some sort of security gadget in its septic system, too.

 

 

You Might Also Like

Putin's Pooches
  • October 07, 2021

Putin's Pooches

On this, Vladimir Putin's 69th birthday, we are reminded that even authoritarian leaders are softies for good dogs. Maybe especially so?
Is Putin Ailing?
  • May 02, 2022

Is Putin Ailing?

As rumors arise about President Putin's health, we take stock.
Like this post? Get a weekly email digest + member-only deals

Some of our Books

Faith & Humor
December 01, 2011

Faith & Humor

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices
May 01, 2013

Stargorod: A Novel in Many Voices

Stargorod is a mid-sized provincial city that exists only in Russian metaphorical space. It has its roots in Gogol, and Ilf and Petrov, and is a place far from Moscow, but close to Russian hearts. It is a place of mystery and normality, of provincial innocence and Black Earth wisdom. Strange, inexplicable things happen in Stargorod. So do good things. And bad things. A lot like life everywhere, one might say. Only with a heavy dose of vodka, longing and mystery.

Survival Russian
February 01, 2009

Survival Russian

Survival Russian is an intensely practical guide to conversational, colloquial and culture-rich Russian. It uses humor, current events and thematically-driven essays to deepen readers’ understanding of Russian language and culture. This enlarged Second Edition of Survival Russian includes over 90 essays and illuminates over 2000 invaluable Russian phrases and words.

Murder at the Dacha
July 01, 2013

Murder at the Dacha

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin has a problem. Several, actually. Not the least of them is the fact that a powerful Soviet boss has been murdered, and Matyushkin's surly commander has given him an unreasonably short time frame to close the case.

Jews in Service to the Tsar
October 09, 2011

Jews in Service to the Tsar

Benjamin Disraeli advised, “Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.” With Jews in Service to the Tsar, Lev Berdnikov offers us 28 biographies spanning five centuries of Russian Jewish history, and each portrait opens a new window onto the history of Eastern Europe’s Jews, illuminating dark corners and challenging widely-held conceptions about the role of Jews in Russian history.

Bears in the Caviar
May 01, 2015

Bears in the Caviar

Bears in the Caviar is a hilarious and insightful memoir by a diplomat who was “present at the creation” of US-Soviet relations. Charles Thayer headed off to Russia in 1933, calculating that if he could just learn Russian and be on the spot when the US and USSR established relations, he could make himself indispensable and start a career in the foreign service. Remarkably, he pulled it of.

The Latchkey Murders
July 01, 2015

The Latchkey Murders

Senior Lieutenant Pavel Matyushkin is back on the case in this prequel to the popular mystery Murder at the Dacha, in which a serial killer is on the loose in Khrushchev’s Moscow...

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka
November 01, 2012

Davai! The Russians and Their Vodka

In this comprehensive, quixotic and addictive book, Edwin Trommelen explores all facets of the Russian obsession with vodka. Peering chiefly through the lenses of history and literature, Trommelen offers up an appropriately complex, rich and bittersweet portrait, based on great respect for Russian culture.

About Us

Russian Life is a publication of a 30-year-young, award-winning publishing house that creates a bimonthly magazine, books, maps, and other products for Russophiles the world over.

Latest Posts

Our Contacts

Russian Life
73 Main Street, Suite 402
Montpelier VT 05602

802-223-4955