November 02, 2020

Russian Critters Cast Their Ballots



Russian Critters Cast Their Ballots
A truly scientific process. TASS, Royev Ruchei Zoo

With U.S. election day tomorrow, everyone's looking for predictions. Even from unlikely sources.

Three animals of the Royev Ruchei Zoo in Krasnoyarsk are ridin' with Biden: two tigers and a bear ("Khan," "Bartek," and "Buyan"), when presented with a pair of watermelons carved with Biden and Trump caricatures, all smashed the former. Which, in large-carnivore language, signals approval.

While the zoo's polar bear correctly guessed Trump's 2016 victory, another of its tigers got it wrong. And Buyan himself has a spotty track record when it comes to predicting things via gourd and melon.

While we're sure the methods of this exercise are watertight, we're planning to wait until election night for the results.

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