From Devushka to Babushka, Non-Stop

A major challenge that students of Russian (and even native Russians) face daily is how to address a stranger (незнакомый человек). As politically incorrect as in may seem, humans have a habit of distinguishing strangers first by their sex. And, right away, problems start to arise.

When addressing a strange woman you can call her дама (lady or madam), which is courteous, but a bit overdone, and, of course, sounds very awkward when applied to anyone under 50. It is best applied to a солидная (respectable) woman sporting a fur-coat (шуба) and diamonds (бриллианты). In fact, sometimes it can sound pretty sarcastic, like in “Дама, вы мне все ноги оттоптали” (“Madam, you have been stepping all over my feet”), addressed to the elephantine woman carrying a dozen plastic bags and muscling against you for space in a crowded metro car.

You may very rarely hear outdated pre-Revolutionary forms of address like барышня (young lady), usually used by older men when speaking to young women, or сударыня (madam). The latter might make the woman addressed feel like she is an entertainer at a kitschy Russian  restaurant, decked out like a live matryoshka in traditional Russian costume. But you may hear this form of address in less likely places as well. I once quit a very good yoga (йога) school after the first class because the guru addressed the women in the class as сударыни. He said something like “Сударыни, больше растяните подмышечные впадины!” (“Madams, stretch out your axillas further!”). Somehow, this linguistic disconnect totally killed my desire to do yoga under his guidance.

A dictionary will tell you that “sir” and “madam” are, respectively, господин and госпожа. But the Soviet era slogan, У нас господ нет! (“We have no sirs/masters!”), has tainted these words, and you will only find them used in business correspondence or discussions, usually when foreigners are involved. Otherwise, these forms of address are quite awkward. You would not hear a Moscow policeman, for instance, say Госпожа, сержант Смирнов. Разрешите Ваши документы. (“Madam, I am Sergeant Smirnov. May I please see your documents?”)

Thus, since all the words mentioned above will do you little or no good, the most universal form of address in today’s Russia is девушка, which means “young girl,” but is used to refer to women of all ages. Many Russians, trying to get the attention of, say, a middle-aged saleswoman (продавщица), will use the term девушка. Which means Russian women turn from a devushka straight into a babushka (бабушка), deprived of any chance to enjoy the mature years of womanhood.

There is, in fact, little alternative to devushka – if we do not count the rigid and impersonal женщина (woman). The latter is often heard in the street or on public transport, as in “Женщина, вы кошелёк уронили” (“Woman, you dropped your purse”) or “Женщина, вы выходите на следующей?” (“Woman, are you getting off at the next stop?”). While in Russian such usage is a bit less harsh than in English (where “woman” sounds like it needs to be proceeded with a “hey”), it is still best avoided.

A similar problem arises when addressing a strange man. The twin-brother of devushka is молодой человек (young man). In the absence of other options, Russians use молодой человек to address “young” men aged from three to sixty-three. And then they switch to дедушка, which is the male counterpart of the internationally known babushka. Men apparently age quickly here as well...

In polite company, women are addressed as дамы, as in Дамы и господа! (Ladies and gentlemen!). References to women “as a class” range from the sublime прекрасный пол (the fair sex) to the colloquial and quite coarse бабы. While this word sounds a bit like the English word “babe,” it was originally used to refer to lower class women, e.g. peasants. Yet in contemporary Russian it has become a pejorative for “women” in general. It is actually used in such sexist expressions as не бабье это дело (this is not a woman’s job) and бабские разговоры (women-talk).

A group of women, discussing someone’s private life, can say, for instance: он нашёл себе новую бабу (He found himself a new plaything). Someone who has new “arm candy” every month can be called a бабник. By the way, the (non-derogatory) Russian word for “Indian summer” is бабье лето (babas’ summer). Oh, and if a man is called a баба, it means he is considered a sissy.

On the other end of the scale from the baba-man is the мужик (muzhik), which connotes manliness and toughness. A man who possesses all the typical male qualities can be praised with: Он настоящий мужик (He is a Real Man). Feminists (феминистки) – this word, by the way, still carries negative connotations in Russia, especially when used by a Real Man – will be repulsed to learn that, in some traditional Russian families to pass for an authentic muzhik, one must know the crafts of a водопроводчик (plumber) and плотник (carpenter), while the dishes (посуда) and the cleaning (уборка) are left to the хозяйка (lady of the house). The Real Man’s salary (зарплата) must always exceed that of his wife, who often chooses the humble role of housewife (домохозяйка), if the family can afford that. However, sexist traditions are giving way, and the number of business-women (бизнес- вуман) is steadily rising.

Due to the difficulties in addressing men and women in Russian, one might simply want to give up and stick to the neutral and impersonal простите or извините (excuse me) to get someone’s attention. Like “Простите, вы не подскажете, который час?” (“Excuse me, could you tell me, what time it is?”). This is safe, polite and, of course, 100% P.C.