November 03, 2020

The Emperor Has No Clothes


The Emperor Has No Clothes
No, this isn't the naked photo you're looking for. Public domain

Russian emperors: they're just like us, butts and all.

In case you were in doubt about monarchs' humanity, take a gander at these recently-resurfaced photos of Nicholas II enjoying a skinny-dip on the Finnish coast in 1912.

The Moscow Times reports that digital photo colorist Marina Amaral came across the images while working on a recent project. Since tweeting out her salacious findings, the photos have spread throughout cyberspace.

Many have commented on Nicholas' physique, which is impressive even by 21st-century standards; if nothing else, these photos should serve as motivation for your morning workout.

Our hope is that the photos are soon colorized, so we can giggle at them in even more realistic glory. See them for yourself here, if the idea of looking at Romanov ass-cheeks is appealing to you (which it definitely is, of course).

 

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Moscow and Muscovites

Moscow and Muscovites

Vladimir Gilyarovsky's classic portrait of the Russian capital is one of Russians’ most beloved books. Yet it has never before been translated into English. Until now! It is a spectactular verbal pastiche: conversation, from gutter gibberish to the drawing room; oratory, from illiterates to aristocrats; prose, from boilerplate to Tolstoy; poetry, from earthy humor to Pushkin. 
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Driving Down Russia's Spine

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Turgenev Bilingual

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Life Stories: Original Fiction By Russian Authors

Life Stories: Original Fiction By Russian Authors

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The Samovar Murders

The Samovar Murders

The murder of a poet is always more than a murder. When a famous writer is brutally stabbed on the campus of Moscow’s Lumumba University, the son of a recently deposed African president confesses, and the case assumes political implications that no one wants any part of.
Fish: A History of One Migration

Fish: A History of One Migration

This mesmerizing novel from one of Russia’s most important modern authors traces the life journey of a selfless Russian everywoman. In the wake of the Soviet breakup, inexorable forces drag Vera across the breadth of the Russian empire. Facing a relentless onslaught of human and social trials, she swims against the current of life, countering adversity and pain with compassion and hope, in many ways personifying Mother Russia’s torment and resilience amid the Soviet disintegration.
Faith & Humor: Notes from Muscovy

Faith & Humor: Notes from Muscovy

A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

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