September 04, 2008

Sarah Palin's Secret Past Revealed!


Many have scoffed at Cindy McCain's defense of Alaska Governor (and GOP Veep candidate) Sarah Palin's foreign policy chops with the assertion that "Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia."

Scoff not. The truth is so more startling still.

We have made thorough inquiries with our sources in Russia's far eastern region of Chukotka (just 53 miles from Alaskan America across the Bering Strait), and it turns out that Ms. Palin's connection with Russia may have more wrinkles than a 44-year-old Texas Armadillo.

Our source, which requested anonymity because he was specious, alleged that, in 1988 and 1989, when Palin was ostensibly employed as a "sports reporter" for KTUU in Anchorage and "helping out" in her husband's family commercial fishing business, she captained a fishing vessel which made several highly treacherous forays into Russian waters and at least twice landed on what was then Soviet soil. According to our source, Palin was carrying out secret missions, dropping sleeper spies onto Russian soil and slipping away under cover of darkness.

"This is very brave woman," said our Chukotkan informant. "She come very close to get caught many times. And she drop off secret anti-Soviet agents too."

There was no immediate, official comment from the McCain-Palin campaign to the revelation that Palin worked for US intelligence 20 years ago. But one influential Republican source did offer, on deep background, that "you media clowns don't know half of what there is to know about Little Sarah. Hell, did you know 'Palin' is derived from the Russian word for 'scorch'? I didn't think so. Dammit, when the American public finds out that this little woman was almost single-handedly responsible for the collapse of the Soviet Union, it's gonna be all over for the Angry Leftists."

Our Russian source was inclined to agree. "This is American hero. Russian hero too. International hero. And if you don't believe me she was spy, you just have to look at her family. You think it accident that all her children have code names like Willow and Piper and Trig? Truth, she is sometimes a hard thing."

And yet, the truth will always out...

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A book that dares to explore the humanity of priests and pilgrims, saints and sinners, Faith & Humor has been both a runaway bestseller in Russia and the focus of heated controversy – as often happens when a thoughtful writer takes on sacred cows. The stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, dialogues and adventures in this volume comprise an encyclopedia of modern Russian Orthodoxy, and thereby of Russian life.

Life Stories
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Life Stories

The Life Stories collection is a nice introduction to contemporary Russian fiction: many of the 19 authors featured here have won major Russian literary prizes and/or become bestsellers. These are life-affirming stories of love, family, hope, rebirth, mystery and imagination, masterfully translated by some of the best Russian-English translators working today. The selections reassert the power of Russian literature to affect readers of all cultures in profound and lasting ways. Best of all, 100% of the profits from the sale of this book are going to benefit Russian hospice—not-for-profit care for fellow human beings who are nearing the end of their own life stories.

Marooned in Moscow
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Marooned in Moscow

This gripping autobiography plays out against the backdrop of Russia's bloody Civil War, and was one of the first Western eyewitness accounts of life in post-revolutionary Russia. Marooned in Moscow provides a fascinating account of one woman's entry into war-torn Russia in early 1920, first-person impressions of many in the top Soviet leadership, and accounts of the author's increasingly dangerous work as a journalist and spy, to say nothing of her work on behalf of prisoners, her two arrests, and her eventual ten-month-long imprisonment, including in the infamous Lubyanka prison. It is a veritable encyclopedia of life in Russia in the early 1920s.

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This wonderful novella by Alexander Kuprin tells the story of the wrestler Arbuzov and his battle against a renowned American wrestler. Rich in detail and characterization, At the Circus brims with excitement and life. You can smell the sawdust in the big top, see the vivid and colorful characters, sense the tension build as Arbuzov readies to face off against the American.

Jews in Service to the Tsar
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