125 Russophiles in Search of the Perfect Vodka

“Nobody in the world knows what [vodka] is made out of, and the reason I tell you this is that the story of vodka is the story of Russia. Nobody knows what Russia is made of, or what it is liable to cause its inhabitants to do next.”

— Will Rogers, writing about his

little-known visit to Russia in 1924.

On a warm July day, over 125 Russophiles set sail on Vermont’s Lake Champlain, in search of the world’s tastiest vodka. The search took them around and across much of the lower half of America’s “6th Great Lake,” home to the elusive serpent Nessie and site of Revolutionary War naval battles.

The weather was positively idyllic as the Russophiles socialized, ate and drank aboard the appropriately named cruise ship, “The Spirit of Ethan Allen II.” Little did they know what twists of fate the event had in store for them that evening.

The six-score Russophiles had traveled to Burlington, Vermont from as far away as Michigan and Washington, DC for this Russian dinner cruise and blind tasting of 16 premium vodkas, sponsored by Russian Life magazine.

“The whole point of this contest,” Russian Life Publisher Paul Richardson said, “is to bring together enough varying, subjective opinions to attempt a reasonable approximation of consumer tastes. These are not so-called ‘vodka experts,’ but they are vodka lovers and we like to think that their tastes are somehow representative of wider consumer preferences. To the best of my knowledge, there is no other blind consumer tasting of vodka on this scale.”

Indeed, the sight of over 600 shots of vodka lined up along white tables in the center of the ship’s main deck was enchanting. The attendees passed along the table, picking up the six vodkas each had been randomly assigned, and took them back to their tables for careful testing and examination.

“I’m just going to drink these in the Russian way,” said Russian Life Editor Mikhail Ivanov, who had flown to Vermont for the contest. He downed each shot with a sniff and a gulp, pronouncing each “otlichno” or “normalno” (excellent or ok), in their turn.

Most Russophiles present were more circumspect in their approach, however, sipping each vodka in turn, examining them for their color, smell and texture, rinsing the palate with a bit of water or some fine eggplant caviar and bread.

Each participant was to rate the vodkas they had been assigned on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest and 1 the lowest score. “A ‘1’ is something like jet fuel,” Richardson proffered before the tasting began, “a ‘5’ is a crème-de-la-Kremlin vodka.”

Ivanov’s instructions were a bit more, well, direct. “By way of instruction,” he said, “I can only paraphrase the words of our president, Vladimir Putin. On the eve of his election, he told voters, ‘I know you will make the right choice.’ So I say tonight, considering that I am Russian and vodka is a Russian invention, ‘I know you will make the right choice when it comes to vodka.’”

But national and personal preferences were irrelevant in this blind contest. The vodkas were identified only by a random Russian letter affixed to the small, plastic shot glasses. Each brand of vodka was tasted by an average of 36 persons.

After the tasting, the guests settled in to a pleasant dinner of Circassian Chicken and various salads, while being lightly serenaded by a live accordionist and guitarist perched at the ship’s bow.

Later in the evening, a hush fell over the room as the results were announced. The final rankings were surprising to say the least. Normally top-rated vodkas, like last year’s winner Finlandia and the well-respected Grey Goose (3rd place last year) came in 13th and 15th place, respectively. Some vodkas, notably Cristall, Stolichnaya, Absolut and the American SKYY, all held on to their strong rankings of last year. But, in the end, it was first-time participant Three Olives Vodka, from England, which rose to the top of the pack, with a noteworthy 12 perfect scores (second place finisher Cristall had 10 perfect scores).

Ivanov was clearly surprised by the British upset. “This is as if there were a blind rice tasting in China, and Russian-grown rice beat out all Asian varieties,” he quipped.

“These are all very fine vodkas,” Richardson commented. “But the hard facts are that those which placed high in the pack were consistently rated much higher than the others by some three dozen average consumers. I think the results this year show that people should set aside their preconceived notions about some of the better-known premium vodkas and go out and do a bit of sampling of the ‘lesser-knowns.’”

The winner of the 3rd Annual International Vodka Taste-Off, Three Olives, is surely a lesser-known, but is also a very international spirit. Distilled in Britain by the same people that make Bombay Gin, it is shipped to White Rock Distilleries in Maine, where it is mixed and filtered with pure Maine water, then put into French-made bottles. Truly a newcomer to the market, Three Olives has been on sale in the US for just over a year, yet it is made from a 300-year-old recipe.

Three Olives will definitely have its work cut out for it in defining its market niche. Premium vodkas are the fastest growing sector in the $4 billion vodka market—the largest of any distilled spirit in the US. This popularity is founded largely on vodka’s use as a base for mixed drinks. But, as Richardson was quick to point out, one major purpose of this annual contest is to highlight vodka as a beverage that can stand on its own.

“The US government defines vodka as ‘neutral spirits without distinctive character, aroma, taste or color,’” he said, “but nothing could be farther from the truth when it comes to premium vodkas. Each of these fine spirits has a very distinct taste, smell and texture, depending on the raw materials used, the manner and degree of filtration and other factors.

“Vodka is a lot like Russia—there is this kind of impenetrable, superficial misconception of the place or the drink. It seems so very easy to understand at first glance. But the deeper you go, the more you visit and get to know Russia—or the more vodkas you taste—the more you realize how complex all of this really is.”

— Edward Green