One Adoption Story

All orphan children have their own story; some are bad and some are good. In my case, it was terrific. Yes, I was in an orphanage for several years before my brother and I were adopted. I remember bits and pieces of what my life was like during those years. I remember when I first arrived there I was separated from my brother, Pasha, and taken to a different room, given a bath, and then put to bed because it was naptime. I remember wanting to see Pasha, because he was the only family I had at that point.

You see, before the orphanage my life was chaotic. My dad was beaten to death when I was young, and my mom was an alcoholic. She was hardly ever there for us, and my oldest brother was in the military for some time.

I remember when I was living at home with my mother. She could not hold a job for more than a day because she got paid, got drunk, and would not show up to work the next day. I remember waking up in the morning wet, because she had peed in the bed. I also remember that Pasha and I were in the streets most of the time, playing around or just walking. I remember a few great times we had as a family, like going to Arkhangelsk to pick up Pasha, who was attending school there.

However, after years of neglect and parental abandonment I was taken to the orphanage, or rather a new “home.” We were given everything: caretakers, beds, clothes, food, and education. However, everything was shared and nothing belonged to you personally. We had seven big rooms, each with about 10-20 kids. In the orphanage, you get to know the other kids quickly. Some you liked better than others. Sometimes the older kids would help the younger ones, because we felt obligated to our little brothers and sisters. We were brothers and sisters because we shared a common past. We ended up in the same place because our parents did not care for us.

After we were there for several years, our orphanage director, Lyudmila, asked Pasha and me if we wanted to be adopted. We both told her “no” several times, because we had “family” who we believed would come and take us away from there. The whole time we were in the orphanage, for about seven years, our mom visited us only once. One time! She came to visit us and took us to the place where we grew up, a home that had almost burned to the ground. This was the “special” outing she had planned for us. What a symbol that house was of our life with her. It was a pile of ashes. This same feeling returned the day the court revoked her parental rights. I remember that day so clearly! My eldest brother had to come to sign my brother and me over to be adopted.

I have had bad experiences and good, but at the end of it all, being adopted not only gave me a new family, but the experience also made me who I am today. I never expected that I would be adopted, but with the way life was in Russia and realizing that no one was going to come get my brother and me, we were ready for a change. To be adopted by people in the United States gave us a chance for a new beginning, and yes, we were very specific that it had to be a family from the US. After eleven years, I will always remember the life I left behind, but I will never regret making the choice to be adopted, because that was a gift straight from Our Father above.

Today, I am a successful college student heading out into a life filled with promise and great possibilities, but I also advocate for those who do not have a voice: all those little brothers and sisters in Russia’s orphanages, those who have been left behind. The current adoption ban leaves them without a voice. We, the Russian people, must not allow them to be silenced. I was given a voice by being adopted and I hope we can all share in protecting those who cannot protect themselves. My life especially has meaning in this one thing: Russian orphans deserve better; they deserve love, hope, joy and some peace. This ban is not against adoption; it is against Russian orphans.