Cool as Cucumber Noodles

Cucumbers are practically their own food group in Russia.

The most enthusiastic cucumber farmers I know – and they are almost evangelical – are those who tend their small dacha plots, carefully calculating the precise moment at which a cucumber has achieved perfect ripeness: crunchy, but sweet.

Every March, I can tell these die-hard cucumber dachniki from the amateurs when talk turns to what variety of cucumber seeds have been started on window sills:* usually in egg cartons or loose-leaf tea tins. The devoted dachniki itch for the May holidays, so they can race out to the dacha, get the kitchen garden plot in order, and plant their cucumber seedlings.

Cucumbers are the perfect crop for European Russia’s long, hot summer days: yielding a bounty throughout summer months that reaches its peak in late July, at which point the fleeting enjoyment of fresh-off-the-vine cucumbers begins to give way to the frenzy that is pickling season.

It is at this point that serious cucumber devotees head to Suzdal for the city’s annual Cucumber Festival. The Museum of Wooden Architecture turns positively green for two days of games, a parade, traditional music, the crowning of the Cucumber Queen, wonderful food and drink, and master classes in the centuries-old art of pickling and salting Russia’s favorite summer vegetable.

Russians go to a lot of trouble over their pickles, but they don’t like to fuss too much with their fresh cucumbers. Right-off-the-vine is the preferred presentation, and this makes sense, since dacha entertainment is a low-frills affair. Though many dachas now boast electricity and indoor plumbing, the idea is to keep the meal as much out of doors as possible. Grilled pork, lamb, or beef shashlik is the typical entree, with only fresh herbs, raw tomatoes, and cucumbers as accompaniment.

It was a challenge, therefore, to introduce my circle of Russian friends to the concept of “doing something” with cucumbers. My Russian husband resisted all of my efforts to concoct cucumber martinis, cucumber and yogurt soup, or tzatziki, and positively spurned my attempts to mix cucumber with sweet fruits such as strawberries or melon. He looked at me oddly when I put a cucumber spear in his gin and tonic last summer. Apart from a dash of salt – no Russian wants you to mess with a fresh cucumber.

So I’m forced to keep my cucumbers simple, particularly at a dacha party, and it was with some trepidation that I slowly and cautiously began to introduce the concept of “cucumber salad.” I’m happy to say that this recipe for ever-so-lightly marinated cucumbers is always a winner. It’s a perfect accompaniment for grilled fish or meat, and it works very well in a grain bowl, mixed in to a larger green salad or incorporated into a pasta or rice dish.

Since I recently got a spiralizer, however, and became slightly obsessed with making “cucumber noodles,” this recipe has really taken off, to the point that I’ve caught more than one die-hard dachnik accepting a tentative forkful, then come roaring back for seconds.

Now I’m working up the courage to take my cucumber noodles to Suzdal!

* Determined questioning of dachniki revealed that the cucumber variety available to Americans that most closely resembles what these Russians prefer to plant may be Picklebush: bit.ly/picklebush

Lightly Marinated Cucumber Salad

Ingredients

2 lbs (1 kilo) of fresh, young cucumbers

2/3-cup white wine vinegar

1 Tbl of sugar

1 tsp of kosher salt

1 Tbl of sliced Serrano chili pepper

Fresh dill, minced

Fresh chives, minced

1 Tbl whole caraway seeds

Table salt

Prepare the cucumbers. If your cucumbers are the thin-skinned or English type, rather than the thick-skinned, waxy grocery store variety, peeling is really a matter of aesthetics. If you are slicing the cucumbers, remove the seeds with the sharp tip of a teaspoon before slicing them to the desired consistency. If you are spiralizing them, the machine will remove the seeds for you.

Toss the cucumbers with a generous pinch of table salt, then layer them in a colander, set on a slant over a wide mixing bowl. Let them sit for at least 25 minutes to allow the cucumbers to “leach” out their bitter taste and excess water. This is a key step in keeping the salad crunchy.

Prepare the dressing. Mix the vinegar, salt, and sugar in a glass jar and shake vigorously until the solids have dissolved.

Rinse the cucumbers under cold running water, then pat dry.

Toss the cucumbers with the vinegar solution, then cover and chill for at least one hour.

Final step. Just before serving, toss with fresh dill, chives, and caraway seeds, and add the sliced red chili pepper. You can also add a sprinkling of cayenne pepper to give the salad a little heat.

Variations

This basic recipe can be adapted in a myriad of ways. Experiment to find the recipe that best complements your entree. Replace the final step above with one of the following.

Make them Baltic: Toss with⅓½-cup of best quality sour cream and ¾-cup of thinly-sliced radishes. Use more dill for contrast, and finish with a little Nepalese salt.

Make them Balkan: Toss with ½-cup of best quality Greek yogurt mixed with the juice of a fresh lime. Crumble ½-cup of Greek Feta or Bulgarian goat cheese (brinza) over the finished salad. Garnish with red pepper flakes and freshly chopped mint, then drizzle with best quality olive oil.

Make them Black Sea: Toss with ½-cup of best quality Greek yogurt mixed with garlic, a few tablespoons of fresh lemon juice, and 3 Tbls of best quality olive oil. Garnish liberally before serving with crushed raw pistachios, fresh chopped cilantro, and pomegranate seeds. Drizzle with pomegranate molasses and/or a sprinkling of sumac. Serve with chewy Caucasian lavash bread.