Lemme Tell Ya!

it took me a while to “get” the English slang shortcuts like wanna (want to) and gonna (going to). So I assume my American counterparts studying Russian must face the same kinda трудности (difficulties) when dealing with what Ivan Turgenev called “the great and mighty” Russian language. So I’ll tell ya all about it.

Lemme start with the banal сокращённые формы (reduced forms) like ма (мама – mama), па (папа – papa), ба (бабушка – grandma), теть (тётя – aunt), доча (дочка – daughter), здрасьте (здравствуйте – hello), не (нет – nope). (Note, these and all that follow are abbreviations only used when speaking; you might see them in printed works, but only in dialog, perhaps to underscore a character’s earthiness.)

In the numbers department you gotta know тыща (тысяча – thousand). Then there is шо (что – what or that), хошь (хочешь – want) and, of course, the rather наглый (rude) чё (чего – what) to say nothing of те (тебе – you in the dative case). For instance, if some street hooligan grabs you by the scruff of your collar and says: “Чё те надо?” (“Whattya wan?” or maybe “Whatchu lookin’ at?”), brace yourself, you are in for a fight.

But some of these examples have more benign usages. If, for instance, a street vendor names an unbelievably high price, you can переспросить (ask again) using the abridged form “Скоко-скоко?!” (сколько) – “how much?”. Thus did the comedian Mikhail Zhvanetsky famously ask in a monologue, “wouldn’t it be great to drive up to a market stall sitting atop a tank and ask the seller, “Скоко-скоко?!”

The best illustration for the Russian equivalent of wanna is found in the Song of Cat Bazilio and Fox Alisa (Песня кота Базилио и лисы Алисы) from the famous film based on the popular fairy tale “Буратино” (the Russian version of Pinocchio). There, the superb actors Rolan Bykov (Cat Bazilio) and his spouse Elena Sanayeva (Fox Alisa) sing:

На дурака не нужен нож,
Ему с три короба наврёшь
И делай с ним, что хошь

With a fool, you don’ need no knife
Just tell ‘em a big fat lie
And do with him whatever you wanna

In the early 1990s, when there were no holds barred in the cultural sphere (especially in pop songs) there was a megahit by the Russian group Balagan Ltd. that raised the eyebrows of older, better-cultivated generations. The girl singing the song is being seen home by her date, and she asks about his intentions:

Ты скажи, ты скажи
Чё те надо, чё те надо
Может дам, может дам
Шо ты хошь

Jus’ tell me, jus’ tell me
Whattya need, whattya need
Maybe I’ll give it to ‘ya? Maybe I’ll give it to ‘ya
Watcha wan’?

At the end of the walk the smart girl, who has now figured out her paramour’s true intentions, issues her verdict:

Проводил ты меня до заветной калитки
Не пропала твоя нервенная дрожь
Вот тогда я поняла, чё те надо, чё те надо
Но не дам, но не дам чё ты хошь

You saw me to the cherished gate
Your nervous shaking did not abate
And so it hit me, whatcha need, whatcha need
But I ain’t givin’ ya, watcha wan’

Too bad. Maybe the guy had rather platonic intentions, that, like in the Beatles song, всё шо он хотел (all that he wanted) was to hold her hand. Maybe not. But, since the girl refused to cooperate, we ain’t never gonna know…