The Bear's Favors and Favorite Meals

Come summer, Russians rush to the dacha, where they work like crazy in their individual garden plots (участки). Actually, it is more appropriate to say “they work like bees” (трудятся как пчёлки), for the bee never sits idle during its short (30-40 days), but bright life.

Perhaps it is little wonder that Russians, often stereotyped as a country of “bears,” use their language to pay tribute to the bear’s favorite meal, honey. Okay, so Russians don’t call their loved ones “honey” (a simple дорогая – “dear” – will do), but honey-related idioms are deep-rooted.

Regular readers of this column will recall how to say “honeymoon” – медовый месяц  (see page 127), supposedly the happiest period in one’s conjugal life. Of course, this is not always the case, for, as Russians say: сколько мёд ни говори – во рту слаще не станет (no matter how often you say the word honey, it doesn’t taste any sweeter in your mouth).

As to bears, they have clawed their way into Rus-sian idioms as well. Suffice it to mention the famous “bear’s favor.” This originates in a fable by Ivan Kry-lov, whose hero, a bear, rushed to do a favor for his master. The overzealous bear, anxious to kill a fly sitting on his master’s face, killed the master along with the fly. So, to do a bear’s favor (оказать медвежью услугу) for someone means to render someone a service with opposite, and negative results.

Other ursine idioms are no more flattering to bears. Someone who is lazy is compared to a bear in his den – как медведь в берлоге. And, for some unknown reason, when someone has the jitters, even to the point of having neurotic diarrhea, it is called a bear’s disease – медвежья болезнь. Finally, when someone tries to play, sing or whistle something by ear and misses the tune, Russians may say, “the bear has stomped on his ear” – медведь на ухо наступил.

So, if you are looking for idioms with positive connotations, stay away from bears; stick to their favorite meal...

For instance, when you see a busy office, full of intense staff, you can say that it гудит как улей (buzzes like a beehive). When a press-conference is announced or a newsmaker enters the room, journalists will rush forward как пчёлы на мёд (like bees on honey). When someone is proud of his company’s success, he might say есть и моя доля в бочке мёда (there is my little drop in the common honey pot). It follows, then, that less zealous employees can spoil general, positive results with one negative deed. Or, as Russians would say, their “contribution” is like ложка дёгтя в бочке мёда (a spoonful of tar in a barrel of honey). And, when sergeants in the Russian army give their soldiers a hard time (always unjustifiably), they tell the soldiers they are doing it чтобы жизнь мёдом не казалась (so that life doesn’t taste like honey).

The positive pull of honey is not lost on free marketeers. Uzbek melon sellers at Moscow farmers’ markets can often be heard touting that their sweet melons are “half-sugar-half honey” (поло­ви­на сахар – половина мёд). If the customer wants to question the quality of the melon, he can say: “Твоими устами да мёд пить” (“I wish I were drinking honey with your mouth”).

Speaking of sugar, it can’t hurt to pick up a few sugar-related idioms. To begin with, Russians, following the advice of doctors, have baptized sugar белая смерть (white death), due to its potentially hazardous health impact. On the other hand, while the standard of living of Russian pensioners and war veterans plummets, you may hear them say жизнь – не сахар (life is not sugar). True, the government is trying to  подсластить пи­люлю (sweeten the pill) by throwing in some one-shot payments or benefits, but that doesn’t make their life taste like honey. Pensioners can, however, console themselves with the thought that на халяву – и уксус сладок (even vinegar tastes good if it’s free).

But take note: never tell a Russian war veteran that you pity him or something of this nature. They are poor, but their pride runs deep. In fact, when some of them hear the word жалко (pity), they may reply with a funny – if somewhat rude – bee-related wordplay (жалко is also the diminutive of жало – the bee’s stinger): “Жалко у пчёлки знаешь где?” (“You know where you’ll find ‘pity’ on a bee?”) For a less Aesopian version of this idiom, you will have to read the short stories of Vasily Shukshin.