Where Have All the Muzhiks Gone?

Where have all the muzhiks gone?

When I was doing some research for this issue’s Practical Traveler on vodka, I was struck by a sense that something was missing in this city — what I wasn’t sure. Then it hit me. It was the muzhiki. You know, those vodka-swilling, tough-talking macho men celebrated in Russian films and folklore. Among my friends and acquaintances and on the streets of Moscow, they suddenly seemed few and far between.

At first, I seriously wondered if homo muzhikus was succumbing to natural selection and going extinct. After all, a diet composed largely of vodka and cigarettes doesn’t exactly contribute to a long lifespan. As the well-known Russian comic Mikhail Zhvanetsky put it: “The parliament fights over the age at which people should retire on a pension — 60 or 65 — when our average life expectancy [i.e., of Russian men] is 57.” Or perhaps the wave of political correctness that has invaded the Russian media of late is picking them off one by one like a skilled hitman.

So what? — you (American women) may ask. After all, Russian muzhiki don’t have a great rep as sensitive guys. If you — heaven forbid — are crazy enough to marry one, don’t think you’re going to convert him. He will demand his breakfast in bed and never, ever put the toilet seat down.

But surely there is something to preserve in Russia’s traditional gender relations. At the least, muzhiki tend to give nice presents on Women’s Day (even if, according to Komsomolskaya Pravda, the typical attitude is: “here, dear, take your portion of mimosas and leave me alone till next spring”). Surely something should be done.

Obviously, Russia’s women are also alarmed. How else to explain the recent press conference organized by the “Women of Russia” movement entitled, “Man as a Victim of Sexual Discrimination?” Now, this designation may seem a bit ironic in a culture where women are expected to go to work, cook, clean, raise children, spend hours on their looks and reassure their men, while the latter get by in the home with little gallantries like helping with doors and coats. But keep an open mind. As the conference’s organizer Duma deputy Yekaterina Lakhova explained, Russian men get stuck with the majority of dangerous jobs and are required to serve in the army even during times of peace. And, she explained, these days only one Russian man in ten is capable of supporting his family. Under such circumstances, no wonder so many traditional muzhiki are giving up the ghost!

Instead, a new breed of Russian man is in evidence. I’m not talking about young thugs with flattops or gangsters in maroon-colored jackets, but rather about the capital’s go-getters — young, well-dressed and dead serious. Like the one I was introduced to in the Moscow club Vermel. When I made the mistake of asking him about his favorite brand of vodka, he told me in great alarm that he never touched the stuff — and then proceeded to give me a lecture on vitamins and clean living. And then there are the sensitive men, like my friend Denis, a whiz in the kitchen and self-described feminist. Admirable trends, sure. But ones that spell death for the Russian muzhik. Soon everyone will be going Dutch for God’s sake!

Well, maybe not. So long as the movies glorify tough, hard-drinking men (for example, Vladimir Mashkov’s macho character in Pavel Chukhrai’s, The Thief, nominated for an Oscar this year) ... so long as there are politicians like Vladimir Zhirinovsky to rant and rave and beat their chests ... so long as the majority of Russian women continue to be content with the role of homemaker and most schoolgirls believe that women should bear the burden of housework, the muzhiki won’t go extinct. And I have to join Yekaterina Lakhova in a hearty defense of the whole breed, if only because they make life interesting.

One cartoon recently printed in Komsomolskaya Pravda shows two typical muzhiki seated at a table loaded down with vodka and pickles. One says: “You know, the best thing to do is change your sexual orientation on the eve of March 8, that way there’s no trouble.” No, love em or hate em, the muzhiki aren’t going anywhere — though maybe there are a few less than there used to be. It’s just that Russian men come in all stripes these days.

—Anna Hoare